Bert

This is exactly what it appears to be–a giant Bert-head Pez dispenser.  Apparently, if batteries are installed, it will talk to you.  I don’t know what it would say.

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the Paper

This is the paper that tells you if you are a supertaster, a non-taster or somewhere in between.  For supertasters, like me, the instant it touches the tongue, it is immediately the nastiest bitter flavor you have ever experienced in your life and you want to cut your tongue out of your head to make it stop.  For non-tasters, like Doug, it tastes like paper.

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